Tunnel Vision

I was talking with my good buddy Zac online the other night. Zac, like myself, is 24 and almost 2 years removed from college. We were talking about how this time in our lives is the most ordinary it has ever been. I always imagined myself living the bachelor lifestyle fresh out of school: Single, decent job, fun nights out on the town, and plenty of women. In reality it is more like: struggling to stay afloat, boring nights, very few women, and a job I never particularly saw myself doing.

Maybe part of this lifestyle is product of my surroundings: living at home in beautiful, but small, Traverse City. Don't get me wrong, Traverse City is a great area for a high schooler, someone raising a family, and in the Summer it is a great place for anyone. However, aside from a couple of friends and my family, it is not where I want to be.

I talked before about struggling to set meaningful goals and that struggle has subsided a bit. I know I want to get into PT school but I need to pass a couple of courses and take the GRE before I can do that- which will take about another year. I feel like I am halfway through the proverbial tunnel; I can't really see the beginning of the tunnel where I approached days with little goals and a lackluster attitude and I am nowhere close enough to the end to see even a tiny ray of light. I am in the middle of this tunnel. I have chosen to attack it with a smile and a "make it happen" attitude. Rejuvenated with the start of a new year, a vision, and solid goals.

I would love to go back to college and live that lifestyle again and I would love to be living the token bachelor lifestyle, but I am not. I am where I am and I trust that things are going to work out.

Christmas Break

Two weeks ago it was December and I was excited for what was hopefully going to be an exciting break... and it was! Here are some of the highlights of my break...

... I saw several movies, including Seven Pounds (don't see), Marley and Me (please see it!), and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (interesting story, but creepy at the end)

I went ice skating and spent the majority of the day with an old friend...

... finished a good book!

Became overweight, haha...

... said goodbye to a brother and a sister as they left for Seattle (one on Christmas day, one on the 5th)

Celebrated several birthdays...

... drank- a little too much at times

went cross-country skiing...

... went snowshoeing

danced- a lot...

...won a hockey game

Christmas...

...Christmas Party

Played pool...

... spent New Year's in Petoskey

watched a lot of football...

... developed an abnormal sleeping pattern

blew out my right passenger tire...

... went broke buying a new tire

became addicted to Guitar Hero...

These are a few exciting events of an awesome break. I am sure there are several events I left out, but it was fun!

I went to bed last night with an extreme aversion for work. My job does not pay nearly enough and is not fulfilling. However, it is a new year and I have made a few auspicious resolutions:

1. Train and run a 15k (Probably the Cherry Fest race)
2. Make significant progress toward getting into Grad School (find several schools, take the GRE, and do well in my classes)
3. Get back into shape! (This more or less goes with goal number 1).

and currently.... find another (or new) job. Times are tough, and this one ain't paying the bills!

Those are my goals for 2009.

CHEERS.

School, Tattoo, Snow

Man, this job can get mundane. RTC has been going smoothly and I believe I've helped to put it on the right track- no more coloring, after all this isn't elementary school; students average time in RTC is decreasing (knock of wood); and I believe staff are starting to trust in me and the RTP process. That being said, with less students coming in my days are filled with silence and surfing the web. I have started to study for the GRE's a little, but with so much uncertainty as to when I will take the test it is hard to motivate myself.

I have been thinking a lot lately about getting a tattoo. I would want it to have some sort of significance, i.e. a tattoo that represents equality, or something that represents my heritage- a traditional tattoo or something. I drew a really cool fist representing power and it is coming out of an equals sign (=). The fist comes out of the top dash and out of the bottom dash is the arm turning into tree roots which represent growth. The = is not filled, and the fist is colored. It is really cool, but I feel like it would be cooler on a shirt than on my body. I have no idea where I would have it.

As far as a traditional tattoo goes, I would want a shoulder one that could wrap down to my arm or a leg tattoo that wraps around my calf. I am doing research on traditional tattoos, but I am not having much luck. Any help would be appreciated.

Unrelated to tattoos and school is the weather... we are getting hammered with snow. We have to snow blow the driveway twice a day and the banks are up past my knee! Crazy stuff. I like it, but I hope all the snow we are getting now means that Winter will be shorter. I have a feeling I am wrong on this one.

I am excited for Justin to come home, he will be here in a week.

Thanksgiving

What a nice break. Thanksgiving in a nutshell: ate too much food, slept too much, had a great time with friends and family! Also, we had a snowday on Monday, which extended the vacation.

Here is a brief list of things I am thankful for:

• All of my family
• All of my friends
• Choices
• Vacations
• Beaches
• The Sun
• Education
• The outdoors
• Camping

What are you thankful for?

Success

Last night I was thinking about what success means to me. When will I feel successful and how will that feel?

The strict dictionary definition of success is as follows:

suc⋅cess [suhk-ses]
–noun
1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.

"the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors," or having a goal at some level and reaching that goal- whether it be getting a job, passing a class, or simply brushing your teeth.

"the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like," most often money and power or rank.

Often times, definition one is lost on people, with emphasis on definition two, at least in the life I've known. There is a presence of "money equals success" everywhere I look. Moreover, people do not realize how successful they really are because they do not have the money to show for it. A great example of this would be the world of education. Teachers are greatly under-appreciated and definitely under-compensated for their work. However, because a teacher may only make $35,000 a year does not make them unsuccessful- they finished school, many have Master's degrees, and thousands are shaping this nation's future. Successful in my book.

I think that it is important that we decide what success means to us, as individuals. Why? Because "favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors," builds confidence in oneself and can make for a happier life. There is very little that feels better than setting a goal and reaching it. This is where definition two comes into play- what are your goals? What is important to you? Money? Rank? Awards? Love? A strong family?

The time I have spent since graduating from college has been the most difficult time of my life. I was thrown out of a lifestyle full of goals- getting good grades, winning a conference championship, making a tackle, being a leader in the classroom, etc.. Since then, I have struggled to set meaningful goals and I had lost the confidence in myself that was once so familiar. That is not to say I have lived an unhappy or bad life- simply, I have felt lost at times.

During this time my understanding of setting goals has come full circle. Never in my life has the importance of goal setting been so clear. I am beginning to find myself again. Certainly I have changed, but change isn't bad- even if I was totally comfortable and confident in who I was. I need to be flexible and adaptable- or I will become stale and stiff. Without question, however, I must determine what is important to me and hold that true to myself.

I whole-heartily believe that anyone can live a happy life if they use can understand what is important to them and use it as a guide.

So what is important to me? Being a good son, brother, friend, and role model is number one on the list. Of particular importance to me at this time is figuring out a career path. I certainly do not want to be a focus room teacher my whole life. Also, I want to be uncompromising when it comes to my beliefs- stay true to me and what I stand for. That is what is important to me. That is who I am. That is what makes me feel successful.

11/14

What a fun weekend! It started off with a half day of school on Friday. I still saw my fair of "disruptive" students but it was an easy day of work. We had a little staff lunch and then I went home to wait for Justin to arrive. There was very little excitement between getting home from work and Justin getting home. When Justin finally did make it the first thing I looked at was his tattoo. I like it, it definitely looks better in person than it does through a picture text.

We did not do much Friday, rented some video games and a couple of movies. We went to be relatively early; I was tired from a long week and Justin from driving.

Saturday I woke up early and went and played basketball with some of the guys I coach/work with. My mom made some really awesome omelets and then we played more video games and watched college football.

Saturday night family came over for games, snacks, and drinks. We played "A Game of Things," or something like that. There is a 'topic card' that says "Things you shouldn't do with glue," or "Things you would like to be able to do when your 85," then everyone writes a response and people try to guess who wrote what. It is a mix of Apples to Apples and Balderdash. We all had a great time with the game.

After that, our friend Zac, Justin, and myself went out to the bar for a couple of drinks and headed to our friend Betsy's house to hang out. We left at 4:30 am and went home to sleep! (Don't worry I wasn't drinking so I drove).

Sunday, I slept in and played hockey.

All-in-all it was an entertaining weekend. This week is a full week and next week I work a half day on Monday and Tuesday then we have a short Thanksgiving break! Should be fun.

An update!

Not sure if anyone checks this anymore, but for those true friends and family who continue to check despite months of inactivity, here is an update.

This summer was definitely an interesting summer. I was not a traditional summer break- it was more of a summer of work. I started in Colorado where I was trained to run voter registration offices across the country. I started in Pueblo, CO where I worked to find office space, but we never opened the office. Instead, I was in Colorado Springs, CO helping to open an office there. I even convinced my brother to sign on with the organization. After a couple of weeks my bro and I were contacted and asked if we would be willing to move to a new location. I chose to go to Grand Rapids, MI and Justin chose Richmond, VA.

I arrived in Grand Rapids with nothing but a computer and a place to stay- my cousins. My cousin, Jeremy, lives in Grand Rapids and he and his wife were awesome enough to let me stay in their basement. My first couple of days in Grand Rapids were spent getting to know the city, finding an office, and recruiting staff. At first, I was working out of a coffee shop with two assistant directors and a very small staff. We were able to grow and register people out of the coffee shop but, eventually, the coffee shop closed and we still had no office space (a lease was being approved). We began to work out of Rosa Park Circle and the Central Transit Center. We would meet staff there in the morning and after they were done registering people. Although circumstances were less than ideal, we continued to grow.

Finally, we were able to get into office space in mid-July. At this point, we blew up. We continued to hire... and hire... and hire. The more people we could send out, the more people we could register, the more people registered, the more people had a voice. At one point, we were the third largest campaign office out of over 60+ in our organization. This felt gratifying and I felt like I was doing the best I could, especially when I thought about my first day in Grand Rapids when I wondered the street by myself.

Overtime, we had ups and downs but we hit our goal and registered over 11,000 people in the matter of two months.

Now that the Voter Registration was over, it was time to move to the next project which was Campus Organizing. I flew out to Tempe, AZ and was trained at ASU- Tempe. This project was not all it cracked up to be; I was not trained very well or informed as to what was really going on. I felt more like a glorified gopher. On top of the crappy training, my flights got messed up- big time. In the end, I was able to fly home and I decided that his position, and political work in general, was a career path I did not want to take. So, I moved back home to Traverse City.

The first thing I did when I got home was contacted the football coaches at TC Central and began coaching again. I missed the first 3 games and all of mini-camp but I helped last year so I had some clue as to what was going on.

The next step was to find a job. I immediately began substitute teacher and about a week later I was hired as full-time staff at Central. Originally, my position was as a Special Education Aide but the swiftly moved me to the Responsible Thinking Classroom (RTC) Instructor. (If you want to know what that is click here)

That is where I am at today. I am trying to decide what the next step is. Here are my options:

1. Go to Physical Therapy school
- This would involve taking some science class at NMC and applying to a PT school
2. Get certified to teach
- I could do all of the certification necessary right here in TC
3. Join the Peace Corps
- Chance to travel the World and help out

Right now I am leaning toward choice number 1. What do you think?

Justin comes home today for a week and I am really excited! I haven't seen him since June, when we were both in Colorado Springs.

Hope this was a sufficient update. Thanks for reading.